Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
