It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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