we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize