Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
