Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
