6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
