if you like me you must not know who I am
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
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