chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
