hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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