Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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