dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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