So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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