Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When are your genitals available?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
