cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Holy shit dude........stairs
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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