Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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