I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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