Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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