I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
