One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize