Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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