He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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