I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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