My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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