Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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