fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
