i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
