so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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