By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
