i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My dad is sitting where you rode me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
