Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
