I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
