You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize