I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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