O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Randomize
