Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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