i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
