i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
