She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
