3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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