I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
