I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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