It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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