i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
