my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
