His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
try to milk me bitch
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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