btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
