I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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