4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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