Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize