my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
