problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
