Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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