I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My balls are so social today.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
