Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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