Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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