Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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