When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
