I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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