yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
