Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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