I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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