just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
