Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
