I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
is wine microwaveable?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's never too late to be topless.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
